Haiku and Hyperbole

I forgot about tumblr again.

Sausage and fried eggs

the grease seeps into the plate

(it’s a paper plate)

Since the title is “Haiku and Hyperbole,” here’s a taste of just that:

She stood in the door

The most beautiful woman

Of all time. EVER. 

———————————————

I am so tired

I’m liable to fall down

And like, hurt somehting

———————————————

If they keep screaming,

I’ll have an aneurysm

That’s just for starters

———————————————

Zombies are passe 

Just like gladiator fights

But maybe more so.

I’m not sure what gene it is that I have that causes me to act like this, but I am an incorrigible procrastinator. I know what you must be thinking, something along the lines of “Oh, please, just last semester I waited until five minutes before the due date to submit a paper.” I would like to respectfully inform you that you are an amateur.

I procrastinate life. I’m putting it off right now. I have an apartment inspection in six hours, and the place looks dreadful. Everywhere I look, I am reminded of entropy: the tendency of things to descend into total chaos. I could’ve sworn this place was inhabitable for humans last I checked. 

I managed to get the dishes done, which was no small feat. I hadn’t done them in weeks, and the sitting water had created an unbelievable amount of mold. Quite frankly, I’m surprised we hadn’t been able to smell it before I cleaned it up. I boiled several kettles worth of water to pour over everything before I even started cleaning.

How does this in any way tie into my being a procrastinator? I can’t remember. This is an incredibly disjointed log, the reason for which being that it is 3:30 in the morning. I am being powered by Five Hour Energy and Mt.Dew in a desperate race against time. Obviously not too desperate though, since I’ve taken the time to write this garbage.

Anyway, I just felt like I should post something, anything, just so that I’d have something to post here. I’ll leave this mess of words unedited so that it can be appreciated in its proper 3:30 am context. I’m done writing now (and with that sentence I’ve broken just about every rule my 5th grade teacher gave me about concluding a paper). 

This is an optimistic leap forward. My last tumblr account had two posts over the course of 15ish months, and about one follower. Let’s see if I make anything of this one.